August 23, 2003

• Friends
  
  I‘m doing it again. I’m feeding off other people’s posts! But, I think it’s a very important subject, and maybe even has some relevance to sailing.
  
  The last regatta I went to was a fun one, up in Lake Michigan. It was the first time our club members had sailed in real live functional Flying Juniors. Whoa!
  
  The first race, we came in dead last.
  
  I overheard one of the coaches for another team telling his students what the other teams were doing wrong. He pointed out that when the two sailors in the boat sit closest together, they work most efficiently. And, using binoculars of course, I realized he was right. The leading team moved as one, and they sat so close together and so far forward, they looked joined at the hip. Our team. . . well, Bob was sailing with his girlfriend’s best friend, so, I understand why they didn’t sit so close together, for reasons totally unrelated to sailing. But, perhaps that’s why they were dead last.
  
  

  
  
  In medical school, we learn that happily married people tend to be healthier than those in marriages with lots of conflict. And grieving widows and widowers tend to have more health problems. (Some relevant and irrelevant sources: 1, 2, 3, 4) This could be due to stress, because it has been shown that people under any kind of stress have decreased immunological function.
  
  Heck, just being in the hospital somehow raises your blood sugar. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  
  Friends are a great destressor. My concept of a friend is not just someone whom I party with, as I’m not really big on partying. I think a friend is someone who understands you, or at least tries to. A nice quote someone gave me once was, “A friend is someone who, when you make a fool of yourself, doesn’t think you’ve done a permanent job.”
  
  I also believe that quality is as important as quantity.
  
  Iolite is a naturally occurring bluish-purple polarizing crystal which the Vikings used to determine the exact position of the sun on hazy days. This allowed them to navigate the seas with more precision. They needed one for sailing, but not just any one. It had to be one that was clear and of good quality.
  
  
  
  Nance1 made a really nice commentary about friends.
  
  Are Internet “friends” real? The first Internet communities were BBS’s. The phenomenon of Internet communities was realized then, and became a subject of many dissertations. Then came MUDs (multi-user dungeons) which destroyed many college students’ academic futures, but allowed some to meet future employers, friends, and spouses. Some people spend most of their time on their computer, either for work, or for play. How many parents nowadays have had to help host a LAN party? How many people have broken up with someone via IM? How many people buy their textbooks on amazon.com because they don’t wanna hafta stand in line at the Union bookstore, and then walk home with twenty pounds of Nelson’s and Rudolph’s Pediatrics? (heh)
  
  But are the “friendships” formed over the Net real? Matt says MUDs are just “a game”. Sandinmyshoes *might* agree, since, if I read his posts correctly, all of life is a game which we play. Applying to medical residencies, it’s like a game. A role-playing game. Seriously it is. And you spend a lot of money on it too.
  
  Do we really know anyone on the Net? Matt says that you can’t really know someone unless you hear their voice or see their face. “There are intangibles that you miss,” he says. If he is correct, Helen Keller must have been hella lonely, since she must not have really had any friends.
  
  I disagree with Matt. I think there are certain “intangibles” that you do not see or hear. There are some things only conveyed through words.
  
  And looks can be deceiving. Carol Burnett’s a funny lady, and I miss her TV show. But has anyone ever seen her without makeup? Eek! Phone sex capitalizes on sexy voices, but how many people believe the sultry voice on the other end is the gorgeous model in the ad? Really?
  
  You only know what people want you to know. So, what’s the point in letting anyone know you?
  
  I love the movie “Before Sunrise“. Matt thinks it’s stupid, and watching it was sheer torture for him, so he didn’t. My favorite quote from this movie:
  
  
  

  “You know, I believe if there’s any kind of God, it wouldn’t be in any one of us. Not you. Not me. But just this little space in between. If there’s any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something. I know it’s almost impossible to succeed, but, who cares really? The answer must be in the attempt.” — Celine (Julie Delpy), “Before Sunrise”

  
  
  

  • 8:37 am
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