Month: February 2004

  • Ohio

    I like Ohio. And not just because it has the best amusement park rides in America at Sandusky’s Cedar Point.

    Ohio is pretty. I like the fields and the cows. I got to see a LOT of fields and cows, because I bypassed Columbus to avoid Ms. Sniper (it could be a woman, you know) who’s been shooting at people on I-270, the loop that runs south of Columbus.

    For some reason, whereever I interview in Ohio, people make sure to remind me that I will see lots of autosomal recessive diseases as a result of the large Amish population in Ohio. Yeah, I guess that’s important to know, as a health care worker.

    If you can’t see anything in these pictures, that’s okay. I couldn’t either. In addition to the snow that was trying to come downwards, the winds were also blowing the snow up off the ground in huge white waves that occluded my vision for most of the trip up Highway 47.

    Fun fun, I say. Especially when you’re following a 18-wheeler going 45 mph on a two-lane highway for about 30 miles.

  • Goodbye, Phoenix! I Hardly Knew Ye!

    Phoenix is dry. The only people I encountered there were

    1. Folks I met during my interview
    2. Retired folks
    3. Stewardesses. Oops. I mean FLIGHT ATTENDANTS.

    Dry dry mountains, but beautiful to look at. Full of California expatriates who apparently didn’t choose to live in Arizona, but “got stuck” there. Sad sad people. They tainted the Arizona landscape for me.

    The Phoenix airport is kind of nice. They have quilt displays and a really really nice exhibit by some guy who takes satellite images of the Earth and fills in the colors based on different geological information.

  • Texas Panhandle & Albuquerque, New Mexico

    Here’s a question:

    Can you tell which is an aerial view of the Texas Panhandle and which is an aerial view of New Mexico?



    Yeah, well, I probably couldn’t either.

    This is Albuquerque:

    What little I saw from the plane, really.

  • Sniffing Ether & Other Ways Men Can Assault You

    So I get this email today warning me not to smell perfume samples that someone offers me in a parking lot. Why? Because it could be “ether” which will knock me out so they can steal my wallet/purse/rape me/etc.

    Maybe it comes from living too long in Berkeley, but anyone who comes up to me and offers to either GIVE me or SELL me something gets either a swift kick to the groin or whack in the boobs.

    Either that or I “accidentally” spill my hot Bianca Mocha on them.

    I think this email ranks up there with the “Free Trip to Disneyland” email that my college-educated friend keeps sending me with the note, “I hope I win it this time.”

    Or the HIV needles in the ball pits.
    Or the rat germs on soda cans.
    Or the HIV needles in vending machines.

    My own karate instructor tried to rape me. If you can’t trust a teacher, who can you trust.

    I trust no one.

  • How to Stay Young

    Remember, there is no way you can look as bad as that person on your drivers license.

    1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

    2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

    3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. ” An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.

    4. Enjoy the simple things.

    5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

    6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

    7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

    8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

    9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

    10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

    11. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

    AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
    Humpty Dumpty was pushed!

  • Iowa City, Iowa

    I like Iowa City. I especially appreciate how easy the drive from Cedar Rapids was, even in the snow.

    I stayed at the Sheraton in downtown Iowa City.


    Sheraton, Downtown Iowa City
    In Iowa, of course

    There is a really good burger joint near downtown, called Hamburg Inn.


    Hamburg Inn

    If you want, you can sit at this seat:

    Couldn’t catch the sign? Here is a closeup:

    I was there before the Iowa Raucous. So, when I ate at Hamburg Inn, they were still holding their Coffee Bean Caucus. Someone named Kucinich was winning.


    Pedestrian Mall, Iowa City, IA


    Pedestrian Mall, Iowa City, IA

    If you drop by Iowa City, I highly recommend staying at the Sheraton downtown, because it’s a close walk to most of the restaurants downtown. I REALLY REALLY recommend Mondo’s. They have some REALLY good Chicken Marsala, and some really good desserts too. Their lemonade sucks though.

  • Lake McBride, Iowa

    I like Iowa. It’s fricking cold there right now, but I like Iowa. I know Iowa is not the “Can Do” State, but they seem to have that attitude. Iowa is consistently one of the top collegiate sailing teams in the Midwest. And that is pretty damn amazing for a landlocked state. I’m proud of them, and I’m not even from Iowa!!


    Through the trees, down the slope, Lake McBride is frozen over


    University of Iowa Sailing Club
    This is really a remarkable boathouse.
    They must be REALLY well-funded.


    University of Iowa Sailing Club


    Something to watch out for if you sail in Lake McBride

    If you don’t, you might end up here:


    The Solon Jail easily found by driving around Lake McBride, Iowa and getting lost.

  • Chicago Midway Airport

  • Dayton, OH — We’ve Come A Long Way, Baby!

    I am a little surprised that there wasn’t much more celebration about the 100-year anniversary of engine-powered flight.

    Dayton is keenly aware of it, however, because it all started in Dayton, Ohio where Wilbur and Orville lived. They were busy designing gliders as prototypes of their biplane while operating their bike shop.


    “For some years, I have been afflicted with the belief that flight is possible to man.”
    Wilbur Wright

    It all started in 1903 with this “portrait” of Orville (lying flat in the center of the plane) taking off (inches above the ground), with his brother Wilbur running alongside, after letting go of the wing strut he was holding for stabilization of the biplane during take-off.

    I think it totally rocks that only 3 years later, they got a patent for this skeletal-looking thing, and by 1909, the U.S. Army was making military planes that were far more substantial.

    In 1912, Alabama-born Katherine Stinson became the fourth woman to be issued a pilot’s license and then got a job in 1913 as the first woman to carry the U.S. airmail.


    Katherine Stinson, 1916
    Richmond, VA

    In 1915 she was the first woman to perform an aerial loop-the-loop, and in the same year became the first woman to skywrite. Who says women are oppressed? Certainly not Ms. Stinson.

    In 1921, Texas-born Bessie Coleman became the first African American woman to receive a pilot’s license. Unfortunately, she had to go to France to do it, where the Fédération Aéronatique Internationale trained her.


    Bessie Coleman
    One really gutsy lady

    By 1939, only 36 years after the first powered flight, Pan American started making transatlantic passenger flights.

    By 1961, Russian Major Yuri Gagarin became the first man in space as he orbited earth.


    Yuri Gagarin
    (Dang. He’s cute.)

    In 1969, humans flew to and landed on the moon, thus messing up what Philippinos see as the “Rabbit in the Moon” rather than the “Man in the Moon.”

    In 1973, NASA launched the Skylab orbital workshop into orbit.

    In 1981, NASA made its first Space Shuttle launch.

    In 1998, the first elements of the International Space Station were assembled in orbit.

    It was crewed beginning in 2000.

    What have we done since then? Well, we crashed into Mars a few years back.


    Downtown Dayton, OH
    I can see why the Wright Brothers wanted to fly away.


    Downtown Dayton, OH
    What is that metal thing?


    Downtown Dayton, OH
    Has some interesting architectural features

    Dayton, Ohio was spectacular. Yep. It was spectacularly cold.

    I wish I could have seen the Aviation Museum, but that will have to wait for another day.

  • Memphis, TN

    When we lived in Arkansas, we used to drive for hours to go shopping in Memphis. Whee.

    Mud Island was fun. There was a sci-fi convention when I was last there. Matt envies me, because I’ve seen the restored Memphis Belle.


    Looking over farmland east of Memphis

    Memphis is not really representative of Tennessee. It’s flatter. Muddier. It has a big pyramid for a stadium. I wish I could have seen inside, because I’m really curious how the seating works.

    Also! It has the feeder team for the St. Louis Cardinals! Yay for Stubby Clapp!

    I stayed at the Marriott downtown. It’s a nice enough place. But I was a little ticked at this:


    For WHOSE pleasure? Certainly not mine. . .

    Memphis is amazing to me, not for its architecture or the Mississippi River or its muddy levees, but for the sheer dedication that went into building this:


    St. Jude’s Research Hospital, founded by. . . you guessed it
    Danny Thomas.

    The story goes, Danny Thomas promised God that if he became a success he’d do something good. When he did become successful, he asked the priest that he confided in what it was he should do. He was told to build a Children’s Hospital in this precise spot, which happened to be the address of the priest’s former parish.

    This hospital is totally amazing, people. It is extremely well funded, by many dedicated people, especially people who came from other countries and immigrated to the United States, many of whom are Lebanese or Syrian.

    If you know a child with cancer, they can be treated here for free, with the most current cancer therapies. (The stipulation is though that they can’t have started another chemotherapy regimen elsewhere, so that they can qualify for being part of a clinical trial. So if you know a child with cancer who can’t afford treatment, try to get them here first.)

    People often mix St. Jude up with Judas Escariot. But St. Jude != Judas. St. Jude is the saint you pray to when you are in a hopeless situation. And Judas was just hopeless.