April 16, 2003
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SAILING AND MENSTRUATION
I don’t like to listen to people gripe, but I can gripe because this is my Xanga site. Yeah? So I’m going to tell all you lovely people out there in cyberspace how much I hate having my period.
Yes, and I know you all wanna hear this. How do I know? Because you’re still reading! Stop reading already, if you don’t want to hear about it.
Periods suck. I know, I know. Some of you say, “Just stick a tampon in.” But, tampons absorb water too! They’re absorbent at both ends! I don’t want a bunch of water from a nuclear power plant cooling reservoir saturating my tampon! My husband actually asked me, “Why can’t you go sailing?” And I said, “Cuz sanitary napkins don’t absorb blood if they’re already full of nuclear power plant cooling reservoir water.” He goes, “Oh.”
And that’s why I didn’t go sailing with the sailing club guys yesterday. I’m not about to tell them that though. But I told you! Why? Because you wanted to read it.
When I went to Thailand three years ago, I snagged this British guy in the hostel in Bangkok and we bussed over to Pattaya. I was determined to snorkel at the beach before leaving, and Pattaya was the only place I could go, because my relatives wouldn’t let me go snorkeling in Southern Thailand where there are less prostitutes. So anyway, I had my period then, too. And do you know how HARD it is to find tampons in downtown Bangkok? VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE. I finally found a little dusty drug store which had ONE package of OB tampons which looked like they’d been sitting there for 5 years, the package was so faded and yellow. But I used them so I could go snorkeling in Pattaya. That was the year that some German guy died from a shark attack during the same month that I was there.
So when the British guy teased me about seeing my tampon in the water, I don’t think I’ve ever hopped back onto a jetski faster than I did that day. Thanks a lot, PAUL.
Periods suck.
Besides getting Depo-Provera shots, which I don’t wanna do, I don’t see any other nonsurgical solution.
Comments (3)
One would think that I would have stopped reading after the title. But I didn’t. After that, you would assume that I would quit after the demi-disclaimer you placed. But I didn’t. And then I read it. Bad brain. Bad.
I totally agree with you. Periods do suck. Luckily I don’t have any horror stories to share with you. That Thailand ones was pretty funny though.
Personally I’ve never used a tampon. I’m a bit scared of them. What if you put it in wrong? I’m sure you didn’t need to know that. Oh well, we’re cousins right? Anywayz Happy Easter!
men just don’t understand