May 8, 2003

• That’s What Little Girls Are Made Of

  Sheabyshea posted a nice little entry about her little girl growing up. It’s very interesting to me how women grow up to be so different from their mothers, and yet the same.

  When I was growing up, my mom didn’t dress me up in frilly dresses or bows. And yet, I loved to wear them. I didn’t like the clothes she picked out for me. She usually dressed me in unisex clothes, and kept my hair in a short bob. I don’t know why! I think it was easier for her. She did occasionally buy me nice dresses, but I can count those on one hand.

  She did encourage me to get my ears pierced and wear earrings. This is something that typically Philippino women have done when they are still babies. However, for some reason, she didn’t have it done until I was 6. And so, I put up a fit when she had it done! I did *NOT* want earrings. I did *NOT* want any permanent holes made in my body that weren’t there to begin with. So, when the piercings got infected, because I hated cleaning them daily, we let them close up, and I never got them re-pierced again. My mom feels a little sad, I guess, that I won’t be wearing any of her earrings — and she does have lovely sets of them — but in truth, I feel it’s no great loss. I suspect, if I have a kid someday, the idea that I don’t have my ears pierced will make her/him want to have hers/his pierced, cuz kids always seem to want to do the things their parents never did. So at least, my kids might be able to wear my mom’s earrings.

  It’s the same thing with makeup. I think around middle school, my mom tried to get me to wear lipstick and powder, and all that stuff. I wear glasses, so mascara just smears onto my lenses and makes me pissy for the rest of the day. I used to marvel at how much makeup my classmates put on. It made them look older, but I don’t know why anyone wants to look older. We all get old fast enough, anyway. In fact, sometimes I laugh at how much women try to look older when they’re young. Then they spend money trying to look younger, when they’re old. (And men wonder why they can’t make women happy.)

  Weddings are another matter. My cousin was just telling me today that she wants to get married in one of the big churches in Fresno. I have only been to a few weddings, and they are great affairs. I love dancing. That’s my favorite part about weddings is the dancing. However, I never really had a desire to throw a big wedding. My mom did though. She offered to pay for my wedding, and I refused. I wanted a small affair, similar to how my parents first got married. (They actually had three weddings — one in the courthouse, one in a church, and one in a temple.) I’m happy she acquiesced to a Vegas wedding. Matt is happy too. At first, my dad was asking me, “Why are you doing this to us?” But after the wedding was over, he was telling me how happy he was about it. I’m glad he enjoyed it. It really wasn’t supposed to be a big thing. It was just Matt and I going to Vegas to have a vacation for a change. I’ve been in school so long, I really just didn’t care to spend the money and time to entertain other people. I’m too burned out for that. Perhaps I’ll have a church wedding somewhere down the line, as my mom did, when I have the time and the energy to prepare for it.

  Anyway, Sheabyshea is afraid for her daughter because she wants to start playing ice hockey. I understand her fear. I played ice hockey for a while. It’s true that it’s a dangerous sport. I tried playing in the co-ed league, and it was definitely dangerous. Even the all-women team was pretty rough. However, it was so fun! I stopped playing though, because I’m just not that good. I ended up playing intramural roller hockey instead. Thing is, with all that padding (really padded gloves, padded plastic shin guards and elbow pads, a good helmet), I got hit several times on the face-guard, fell forward onto my hands and knees, landed on my rump, got hit on the shin with sticks and skates, collided with other players head-on, and NONE OF IT HURT! The only time I got hurt was when I fell on my side, and that was because my hip wasn’t padded.

  A good friend of mine on my roller hockey team, however, fell and hit the back of his head. He looked fine for a while, and so my teammates sent him to sit on the bench. Sometime during the middle of the game, he turned to someone and said, “Are we playing? Who’s winning?” They thought he was joking around. After the game was over, he told someone, “I know you, but I can’t remember your name. Can you take me to the hospital?” So we did. It turned out he had retrograde amnesia for a little while. He forgot everything he did that day, including his lab experiments. Good thing we all keep lab notes, huh?

  He’d fallen before at least twice. People who have had concussions before have a higher likelihood of temporary amnesia. So he is one person whom I personally know got seriously hurt playing hockey.

  Anyway, so if I have kids, I’ll probably try to get them interested in sailing, the way my mom tried to get me to wear earrings and makeup. I suspect they’ll probably abhore water.

  
  Sailors rigging 420′s at Northwestern University’s sailing beach. Chicago skyline barely visible in the distance.

  • 11:15 pm
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