November 3, 2003
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Neo-Swashbucklers
Survivalists are people who think the world is going to end sometime pretty soon and are thinking of ways to prepare for it. Y2K brought a lot of survivalists out of the woodwork.
There’s a group of survivalists called the Neo-Swashbucklers. One of their plans, after the great World Collapse, is to steal the tallship Elissa from its location on Galveston Island and sail off into the nuclear sunset.
Here’s their credo:
We, the Neo-Swashbucklers, are a heroic group of individuals who have a dark view of the future of Western Civilization, but a determined spirit and light hearted vision of our role after the Great Collapse. Some say we are a dangerous cult. Well, we are a little dangerous, I guess, and we are a little cult-like, but we still resent being called a dangerous cult. We fight at the slightest provocation, we ride bikes, we like to mountain hike, we love Texas and South Louisiana and we believe that Jean Lafitte was the greatest man in American history. We intend to closely watch world affairs and anticipate exactly when the Great Collapse will occur. When it happens we will seize a tallship and sail away, hoping to find a suitable island on which we will establish a new homeland which we will call New Atlantis. We plan occasional get-togethers for canoe trips, Risk games, Kite Dogfighting, frozen drink swilling, camping, attending music festivals and picking fights with bureaucrats. We harbor no ill will against any race, religious group, nationality or members of other message boards. We do have a strong dislike for the US Coast Guard, however, because we think they unnecessarily interfere with ocean-going activities. We are adventurers, boar hunters and listeners to Zydeco, Texas Music, Bob Marley, Jimmy Buffett and the great Lucinda Williams. We are usually non-violent while on land unless an objectionable CD is played. In international waters we can become aggressive and extremely violent. Its just our way. Our principal reason for being is to ensure that we will have great merriment in the coming dark age. Aye, mateys! While the common citizen is planted in front of the TV, watching the Great Collapse on CNN, you will be receiving a signal. We will then converge on a harbour under the cover of darkness, the exact location of which will be revealed at a future date; and we will fulfill our destiny. Aaarrrggghhh!
Comments (3)
i blame zydeco. but does sound like a helluva party. this from someone stuck in the asshole of texas, that butts right up against louisana. cajuns do know how to eat and party. aaiiee! cyn
um, news to them: they will likely be dead on doomsday. there will be no ship. no island.
I am from The Neo-Swashbucklers. We are facing an economic, system, government, society, culture, and technology collapse. We call it The Great Collapse. There will be no nukes due to MAD. It will be the collapse of the USA and perhaps western civilization.
People called Vooks (violent kooks) are causing the collapse, and most people are zombies who just spend past their means contribute to it.