June 19, 2004

• You Are What You Think You Are

  When I was living in Berkeley, someone said something to me that was really caustic. Actually, that happened a lot as Berkeley seems to be full of people who thrive on doing things like that. My dad called me up that night, to ask how I was doing, and I related what had happened that day.

  He said something to me that I already knew, but of which sometimes I have to be reminded:

  You can never be what other people think you are.

  It’s almost a negative-sounding sentence. But, as my dad’s English is a little awkward, I often have to interpret what he’s trying to say, and I know what he meant.

  All the facades that people show to different people make us different to those who know us at different levels. Even my closest friends don’t see all the facets of me. When I did my psychiatry rotation, there was talk about how “multiple personality” was all the rage in the 1980′s, and 80% of the ward population had it. Well, honestly, we all do.

  And although people try so desperately sometimes to present a face to others that allows them to be treated with respect, in the end, the only respect that matters is your own — for yourself.

  I try not to wax too philosophical on this site. But this is an important thing that I think a lot of people forget. My dad did good to remind me. I figure it may be helpful to “someone” to remind them as well.

  
  

  There is a story of a man who found an eagle’s egg and put it into the nest of a barnyard chicken. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life, the eagle did what the chickens did. It scratched the dirt for seeds and insects to eat. It clucked and cackled. And it flew no more than a few feet off the ground in a chicken-like thrashing of wings and flurry of feathers. One day the eagle saw a magnificent bird far above him in the cloudless sky. He watched as the bird soared gracefully on the wind, gliding through the air with scarcely a beat of its powerful wings. “What a beautiful bird,” the young eagle said. “What is it called?” The chicken next to him said, “Why, that’s an eagle — the king of all birds. But don’t give him any mind. You could never be like him.” So the young eagle returned to pecking the dirt for seeds, and it died thinking it was a chicken. What you think of your own potential defines who you are today, and what you become tomorrow.

  

  • 1:21 am
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