November 2, 2004
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Sex and the Kiddies
It always amazes me how uninformed the media is. And that’s sad because it seems that the media is always the one that educates the other uninformed populace.
People are always debating whether or not we should allow public schools to pass out condoms. “It promotes safe sex,” they say. “It reduces unwanted teenage pregnancies,” they also say. Or this one, “It reduces the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.”
Does it really?
I mean, come on now. Have any of these condom promoters ever done an internship at the Illinois Public Health Department? Have they even ever had any sex? (Most of the people who promote condoms look like they really need some sex.)
How many teenage guys are actually going to put a condom on before sex? And an even bigger question, even after you have correctly demonstrated to a guy how to correctly put on a condom (pinching the head before rolling it down, so that the semen is caught in the reservoir), how many are actually going to put it on correctly? And the biggest question of all, after they actually put the condom on correctly, and at the appropriate time, are they going to pull out right after cumming (to prevent spillage and rupture of the condom)?
Uh huh. Yeah.
And how many people are actually being misled to think that condoms prevent all sexually transmitted diseases?
There’s actually been a rise in syphilis in spite of the promotion of condom use.
And oral sex. I laugh to think how many cases of herpes I’ve seen. And I’m not talking HSV1, but HSV2. Due to the increase in casual oral sex, HSV1 (which used to be predominantly oral herpes) is now seen “down there” and HSV2 (which used to be predominantly genital herpes) is seen as those wonderful things people call “fever blisters.”
It’s surprising how many teenage girls these days have HPV (the virus that causes cervical cancer), manifested in those fluffy cauliflower-looking lesions known as genital warts.
Gonorrhea and chlamydia (usually asymptomatic in the genital tract) used to be diseases of the urinary and genital tract, causing pelvic inflammatory disease in women. But we have plenty of people coming in now with gonorrhea of the mouth, and chlamydia tracheitis. And it’s obvious how they got it, even if it isn’t to them.
I guess I shouldn’t complain about all the misconceptions people have about condoms. People getting sick just increases my business. (I may purchase that 40-foot ketch sooner than I think!) But, I’d just like to warn all you lovely people out there in cyberspace to take a good look at your partner’s pieces, because in addition to the above-mentioned things, condoms don’t prevent crabs.
