Month: July 2005

  • Sliding Rock

    Matt and I are eagerly anticipating our upcoming vacation. I’m planning to spend the full 5 days in my swimsuit. I’m laughing because my mom actually wants to come along, which means that, solar-phobic as she is, she is going to need her swimsuit too.

    Tons of people every year die in summer drowning accidents. But like a lemming, I’m happy to take my chances again this year.

    I think some of the stupidest water-related things I’ve done have been

    1. To go down Sliding Rock in North Carolina in the middle of March. (It’s cold enough in the summertime!)

    2. To go sailing in the middle of a tornado watch.

    3. To drink before sailing a boat I’ve never sailed before with a person I’ve never sailed with before.

    4. To accidentally put the boat in forward instead of reverse when trying to dock next to the gas pumps. (It’s a good thing Matt wasn’t there for that one.)

    This state is so full of stuff to do in the summer. I feel like 5 days is not going to be enough for me to go to Schlitterbahn, go tubing down the San Marcos River with my cooler tube of beverages, go sailing on Lake Travis, and still see the Dr. Pepper museum (swimsuit not required).

  • Ships Passing in the Night

    I‘m always amazed at the people who touch my life. Random acts of kindness. A word. Or even a dream. For every person I’ve met, there is a lesson I have learned.

    In the hospital, we see many ships passing. Some pass through. Some end their journey here. We just treat them for a while, but sometimes we get to know them. What they want to do with their lives. What their biggest hopes are. My job is to help them achieve their goals.

    Sometimes we fail.

    My patients teach me many things. I think the biggest thing they teach me is that nothing is as important as using your life to the fullest. When you’re tired and bed-bound, too weak to lift your hands, too sick to see, too tired to breathe, nothing matters as much as what you’ve done with what you once had. Your body’s just a shell, and what you’ve left behind lives forever. All the people whose minds you touch carry a little piece of you still living. I carry a number of my patients in my mind, and a number of my friends and relatives as well.

    So when they disconnect a respirator, and everyone holds their breath, it becomes the dead who helps them breathe again.

    “I expect to pass through life but once. If, therefore, there be any kindness I can show,
    Or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, Let me do it now, as I shall not pass this way again.”
    — Stephen Grellet

  • Reverse Discrimination

    The other day, I was looking through a patient’s charts, and I overheard two nurses talking. One asked the other, “Did you get this questionnaire?” “No, I haven’t.” “Well, it’s asking me if I’ve experienced any racism in the workplace. You didn’t get one?” “No. Probably because I’m white.”

    It was interesting because I know this particular nurse is married and her husband is black. The other nurse, who is Hispanic, her husband is white.

    I noticed I didn’t get any questionnaires either. I have nothing to complain about anyway, though. Just let me work, pay me, and I’m happy. I don’t care what people think of my skin or my intelligence, as long as they’re not breaking down my door to drag me out and shoot me. I have better things to do than to try to control how other people think about me.

    People are really way hypersensitive about words. My mom calls my dad a “China-man” all the time. He’s not offended. Dad calls her “brown” and she’s not offended in the least. He also calls her “fat” because she is, and she knows it. She calls him “old” because it’s true. When I went to the Illinois State Fair, a little black boy came up to me and asked me if I am Japanese. I’ve heard some Philippinos get upset if they are asked such an innocent question. (“How racist!” they say, as if a 6-year old boy who’s asking a simple question can be racist.) I think it’s admirable that he came up to me to ask.

    I cannot name how many times my family has been to a Philippino Association meeting where some guy running for office asks us to vote for him, having absolutely no political convictions except that there should be more Philippinos in the government.

    One Philippino man does not represent me.

    Lord knows, I’m more complex than that.

    Same thing happened at a Chinese Association meeting.
    And at a Thai Association meeting.

    If you want my vote, you can have it, if you understand how I want to live my life, and are willing to defend it. Trying to appeal to my origins is a lame replacement for actually understanding how government works.

    And now, people are talking about Hillary Clinton running for office.

    One of the nurses asked me, “Are you going to vote for her?”

    Seeing her track record for improving conditions in Arkansas and New York, I highly doubt it.

    “But she’s a woman! Don’t you want a woman to be President?”

    I want a woman to be President like I want a Philippino, Thai, or Chinese person to President.

    It’s not the color of your skin or what’s between your legs. It’s whether or not there’s a lightbulb in the socket.

  • Buddhism vs. Islamofacism

    My dad just returned from Thailand last week. He spent nearly four weeks there, caring for his relatives. Every time he called my mom, he reported a new bombing. They always target the schools or the police stations. They want chaos. School teachers are leaving that part of the country by the thousands. Why?

    Is it worth it to get blown up by people who are angry that you aren’t their religion?

    Even my relatives are thinking of leaving that part of the country. It isn’t safe, if you are not the correct religion.

    It always angers me when white Americans tell me that America is racist.

    This is the country that my parents came to, and in spite of not being white or wealthy, they made a life for themselves. My parents are two completely different religions, and from two completely different countries, and no one gave them any flack about it.

    When I go to Thailand, people hate my mother because she’s not Thai.

    When I go to Philippines, people only like you if you have money.

    When I go to China, everyone likes you because they need a passport to get out of the country.

    My female cousins go about in spaghetti-strap tank tops and short-shorts, and their dads don’t beat them black-and-blue when they do.

    It’s really awkward to have to listen to white people complain about America, especially when they have never been out of the country.

    People are all concerned about the bombing in London. No one talks about the bombings in Thailand. Except. I did see on the news the media’s wonderful slant on it. Thai police arresting Muslim men. Brutal? Yes. The killing of Thai schoolchildren and teachers is brutal. Not to mention the ritual beheading of Thai policemen.

    Even so, I know Thai people won’t make a fuss. Mai pen rai. . . . Meanwhile, in Bangkok, those highly-educated city folk (ironically most of which were educated in American colleges and universities) keep blaming America for the weirdos who are blowing up and beheading the hillbillies in the southern part of Thailand. Nevermind that pointing fingers isn’t solving a thing. As long as terrorists don’t blow up Bangkok (yet), they won’t lift a finger except to point it at the U.S. “Let America do all the work. We need to spend the Thai government’s money on curing AIDS so we can continue our prostitution industry.”



    Hangman
    by Maurice Ogden

    1.
    Into our town the Hangman came,
    Smelling of gold and blood and flame.
    And he paced our bricks with a diffident air,
    And built his frame in the courthouse square.

    The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
    Only as wide as the door was wide;
    A frame as tall, or little more,
    Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.

    And we wondered, whenever we had the time,
    Who the criminal, what the crime
    That the Hangman judged with the yellow twist
    of knotted hemp in his busy fist.

    And innocent though we were, with dread,
    We passed those eyes of buckshot lead –
    Till one cried: “Hangman, who is he
    For whom you raised the gallows-tree?”

    Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
    And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:
    “He who serves me best,” said he,
    “Shall earn the rope of the gallows-tree.”

    And he stepped down, and laid his hand
    On a man who came from another land.
    And we breathed again, for another’s grief
    At the Hangman’s hand was our relief

    And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn
    By tomorrow’s sun would be struck and gone.
    So we gave him way, and no one spoke,
    Out of respect for his Hangman’s cloak.

    2.
    The next day’s sun looked mildly down
    On roof and street in our quiet town,
    And stark and black in the morning air
    Was the gallows-tree in the courthouse square.

    And the Hangman stood at his usual stand
    With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;
    With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike
    And his air so knowing and business-like.

    And we cried, “Hangman, have you not done
    Yesterday, with the foreign one?”
    Then we fell silent, and stood amazed,
    “Oh, not for him was the gallows raised.”

    He laughed a laugh as he looked at us:
    “Did you think I’d gone to all this fuss
    To hang one man? That’s a thing I do
    To stretch a rope when the rope is new.”

    Then one cried “Murder!” and one cried “Shame!”
    And into our midst the Hangman came
    To that man’s place. “Do you hold,” said he,
    “with him that was meant for the gallows-tree?”

    And he laid his hand on that one’s arm.
    And we shrank back in quick alarm!
    And we gave him way, and no one spoke
    Out of fear of his Hangman’s cloak.

    That night we saw with dread surprise
    The Hangman’s scaffold had grown in size.
    Fed by the blood beneath the chute,
    The gallows-tree had taken root;

    Now as wide, or a little more,
    Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,
    As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
    Halfway up on the courthouse wall.

    3.
    The third he took — we had all heard tell –
    Was a usurer, and an infidel.
    “What,” said the Hangman “have you to do
    With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?”

    And we cried out, “Is this one he
    Who has served you well and faithfully?”
    The Hangman smiled: “It’s a clever scheme
    to try the strength of the gallows-beam.”

    The fourth man’s dark, accusing song
    Had scratched our comfort hard and long;
    “And what concern,” he gave us back.
    “Have you for the doomed — the doomed and Black?”

    The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again,
    “Hangman, Hangman, is this the man?”
    “It’s a trick,” he said. “that we hangmen know
    For easing the trap when the trap springs slow.”

    And so we ceased, and asked no more,
    As the Hangman tallied his bloody score.
    And sun by sun, and night by night,
    The gallows grew to monstrous height.

    The wings of the scaffold opened wide
    Till they covered the square from side to side;
    And the monster cross-beam, looking down,
    Cast its shadow across the town.

    4.
    Then through the town the Hangman came,
    Through the empty streets, and called my name –
    And I looked at the gallows soaring tall,
    And thought, “There is no one left at all

    For hanging, and so he calls to me
    To help pull down the gallows-tree.”
    So I went out with right good hope
    To the Hangman’s tree and the Hangman’s rope.

    He smiled at me as I came down
    To the courthouse square through the silent town.
    And supple and stretched in his busy hand
    Was the yellow twist of the hempen strand.

    And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap,
    And it sprang down with a ready snap –
    And then with a smile of awful command
    He laid his hand upon my hand.

    “You tricked me. Hangman!,” I shouted then,
    “That your scaffold was built for other men…
    And I no henchman of yours,” I cried,
    “You lied to me, Hangman. Foully lied!”

    Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
    “Lied to you? Tricked you?” he said. “Not I.
    For I answered straight and I told you true –
    The scaffold was raised for none but you.

    For who has served me more faithfully
    Than you with your coward’s hope?” said he,
    “And where are the others who might have stood
    Side by your side in the common good?”

    “Dead,” I whispered. And amiably
    “Murdered,” the Hangman corrected me:
    “First the foreigner, then the Jew…
    I did no more than you let me do.”

    Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
    None had stood so alone as I.
    The Hangman noosed me, and no voice there
    Cried “Stop!” for me in the empty square.

  • I Want To Be American

    Doctor Viana, I Presume


    Viana, young girl with big dreams

    Malakshah, Iraq

    The interpreter stayed back with American soldiers, so I walked around, saying hello to Kurdish people until I heard a reply in English. As I wandered through the tent village, I spotted a family down the way. One girl, standing by a tent with her parents and teenaged brother, replied to my greeting with a clear and confident “hello.” As I approached, the family of four smiled. Only the girl could speak English, but she had more than enough to say.

    Before I could offer pleasantries, she explained that she had studied English for three years, and wanted me to know that the people in her village needed schools and a hospital. Confident young girls aren’t the norm in most parts of the world I’ve traveled. “How old are you?” I asked.

    “Fifty,” she answered.
    “You mean fifteen?” I asked, and then to clarify, I added: “Fif-teen, not fif- tee.”

    “No,” she said, not in the least rude, just knowing what she wanted to say, right or wrong. “I am fifty years old.” And then, to make her own sort of point, she said, “Fif-tee. . . .”

    “No,” I said, smiling. “Fifty is five-zero. Fifteen is one-five.”

    “I am fifty.”

    I wrote “15″ on my notepad and held it up. She tapped the page and said, “Yes, fifty.”

    “Not fif-ty, fif-teen.”

    But she was not interested in English lessons; she was interested in saying something. “Listen,” she said, pointing to herself, “I speak English,” then pointed to me, “You no speak English.”

    Never has someone so politely told me to shut up.

    “Okay,” I said. “I will not talk. You talk.” In reality, I did not completely shut up, I just talked less.

    She told me her family had lived in the camp for about a year. The father owned a taxi that was parked beside their tent. I asked if there were security problems in Malakshah, criminals or otherwise, and the family answered through the girl that the only problems were the lack of houses and running water. And, as she was quick to add: “We need schools and hospitals.”

    The family had a white puppy that looked about three months old. They called it Rocky. When it was obvious that the name struck a familiar chord for me, she didn’t miss a beat.

    “I want to be American. I will be American someday.” I had not heard this in some time. I often hear people say, “I want to go to America,” but not, “I want to be American.”

    “How do you plan to get there?” I asked.

    “London, then Paris,” she answered.

    “Why?”

    “I will study to be doctor in London. Then I will move to Paris. Then I will move to San Francisco and be American.”

    “You will become a doctor in London. . . . Okay . . . why will you go to Paris?”

    “I want to live there for time, for some time, for some time to live there.”

    “Paris is excellent, but why Paris?”

    “I hear is very wonderful,” she said, seeming to want my opinion.

    “Why London for medical school?”

    “I hear they having good school medicine.”

    “Now, San Francisco . . . ” I said, “that is a very beautiful place, but very expensive. How do you know about San Francisco?”

    “I see on movies.”

    “What is your name?”

    “My name is Viana.”

    “Doctor Viana,” I said, “the famous American doctor who studied in London and lived in Paris before coming to live in San Francisco.” She didn’t seem to follow me, so I made it simple. “You will be a doctor,” I said, “you are very smart.”

    As I walked away, I wondered where courage is born to dream with such determination while living in a tent without running water tottering on the border between Iraq and Iran.

    http://michaelyon.blogspot.com/2005/04/doctor-viana-i-presume.html

    [Thank you for visiting: Joining the MichaelYon.blogspot.com mailing list will sometimes allow access to information not available to visitors.] 21Feb05

    posted by Michael Yon @ Thursday, April 14, 2005

    Based on years of teaching medical students and watching them graduate and go on to residency, some attendings pride themselves on being able to tell what specialty a medical student will choose.

    In my paltry one year of teaching medical students, I am pretty confident that if Viana goes on to finish medical school, she will be a surgeon.