Month: November 2009

  • Before I Was a Doctor and a Mom

    There is an Internet poem going around called “Before I Was a Mom”, and some people have sent it to me, thinking it is appropo for my situation.  Instead, as most things people send me usually are, it simply annoys me — a poem written by someone who didn’t seem to have any responsibility before she became a mother.  Amazing that the author could get through so much of her life without having any responsibility UNTIL she became a “Mom.”  Instead of invoking sympathico from me, it merely prompted my own version of this poem.


    Before I Was a Doctor and a Mom

    Devich

    Before I was a doctor and a mom
    I rarely ate hot meals, unless it was at the hospital cafeteria.
    I rarely wore every day clothing — it was a joy to be able to wear a T-shirt.
    I rarely had time to chat on the phone, unless it was for a consultation for a patient.

    Before I was a doctor and a mom,
    I always got to bed late
    And still had to wake up early.
    I quickly pulled my hair into a ponitail everyday.

    Before I was doctor and a mom
    I rarely cleaned the house, choosing instead to catch up on sleep.
    I rarely had time to go to the gym, and forgot many songs I used to know by heart on the piano.

    Before I was a doctor and a mom
    I didn’t have any live plants at home, because I wasn’t home to water them.
    I memorized the ever-changing CDC immunization schedule.

    Before I was a doctor and a mom
    I had already been puked on
    Pooped on
    Spit on
    Chewed on
    Peed on
    And pinched by tiny fingers.

    Before I was a doctor and a mom
    My patients and hospital staff occupied:
    My thoughts
    My body
    And my mind.
    And for this reason, I stayed up all night q3.

    Before I was a doctor and a mom
    I had to help hold down children who were in urosepsis
    So that the nurses could do an in-and-out cath
    Or give Rocephin shots.
    I looked into teary eyes of a patient with terminal acute lymphoblastic leukemia and cried.
    I got gloriously happy over a simple grin from a child who was in remission.
    I have sat up late hours at night watching a premature baby sleep, worried that her bicarb was rising, despite high frequency ventilation.

    Before I was a doctor and a mom
    I have stayed at a child’s bedside.
    I have felt my heart break into a million pieces
    When I knew the only thing I could give her was morphine.
    I pity people who never know how something so small
    Can affect one’s life so much.
    People who never know how to love someone so much.
    Who never think about being a doctor and a mom.

    Before I was a doctor and a mom
    I already knew the constant feeling of having my heart outside my body.
    I already knew how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
    I already knew that bond between a Mother and her child.
    I already knew that something so small
    Could make me realize that I will not live forever, and that a child is a legacy — a tribute to the love of humans for others.

    Before I was a doctor and a mom
    I already knew what it was like to get up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure a child’s oxygenation was okay, or that her blood glucose was stabilized.
    I had already known the warmth
    The joy
    The love
    The heartache
    The wonder
    Or the satisfaction of caring for a child.

    I already knew I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.