Before I Was a Doctor and a Mom
Devich
Before I was a doctor and a mom I rarely ate hot meals, unless it was at the hospital cafeteria. I rarely wore every day clothing — it was a joy to be able to wear a T-shirt. I rarely had time to chat on the phone, unless it was for a consultation for a patient.
Before I was a doctor and a mom, I always got to bed late And still had to wake up early. I quickly pulled my hair into a ponitail everyday.
Before I was doctor and a mom I rarely cleaned the house, choosing instead to catch up on sleep. I rarely had time to go to the gym, and forgot many songs I used to know by heart on the piano.
Before I was a doctor and a mom I didn’t have any live plants at home, because I wasn’t home to water them. I memorized the ever-changing CDC immunization schedule.
Before I was a doctor and a mom I had already been puked on Pooped on Spit on Chewed on Peed on And pinched by tiny fingers.
Before I was a doctor and a mom My patients and hospital staff occupied: My thoughts My body And my mind. And for this reason, I stayed up all night q3.
Before I was a doctor and a mom I had to help hold down children who were in urosepsis So that the nurses could do an in-and-out cath Or give Rocephin shots. I looked into teary eyes of a patient with terminal acute lymphoblastic leukemia and cried. I got gloriously happy over a simple grin from a child who was in remission. I have sat up late hours at night watching a premature baby sleep, worried that her bicarb was rising, despite high frequency ventilation.
Before I was a doctor and a mom I have stayed at a child’s bedside. I have felt my heart break into a million pieces When I knew the only thing I could give her was morphine. I pity people who never know how something so small Can affect one’s life so much. People who never know how to love someone so much. Who never think about being a doctor and a mom.
Before I was a doctor and a mom I already knew the constant feeling of having my heart outside my body. I already knew how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I already knew that bond between a Mother and her child. I already knew that something so small Could make me realize that I will not live forever, and that a child is a legacy — a tribute to the love of humans for others.
Before I was a doctor and a mom I already knew what it was like to get up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure a child’s oxygenation was okay, or that her blood glucose was stabilized. I had already known the warmth The joy The love The heartache The wonder Or the satisfaction of caring for a child.
I already knew I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.
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