November 30, 2003

• Excerpt from Changing Course: A Woman's Guide to Choosing the Cruising Life by Debra Ann Cantrell Some couples have learned to communicate during boat-handling maneuvers by using hand signals. This is especially helpful when you are anchoring, which is one of the most stressful tasks cruising couples do on a routine basis. . . . Patricia, age 64, witnessed a fascinating dialogue between an elderly couple who were having difficulties anchoring in New York Harbor late one afternoon. Here is what she saw. They were trying to anchor in New York Harbor amidst commercial vessels of every sort. At any moment I was certain they were going to be run over. She was at the helm, and he was on the bow tending to the anchor. All of a sudden I heard her say in a calm, even voice, "Darling, the painter has become tangled in the prop." Now I know what my partner would've said to me -- and it was nothing like what that fellow said to his wife. In a voice as calm as hers he responded with not a hint of anger or frustration, "No need to fret my love, I'll dive on it." He proceeded to dive on the prop and all the while she cooed words of encouragement and affection to him. "Do be careful, my sweet. Let's get you into the shower quickly, shall we my love?" [My partner] and I looked at each other with genuine awe. It was as if we were hearing a foreign language. A few days later [my partner] and I were setting our anchor and he looked back at me from the bow and said in one of the calmest tones I'd ever heard, "Darling, give it a little reverse, will you?" to which I replied, "Anything you say, my love." We were bent with laughter as we did this, but you know, we both yell a lot less now. And when we do yell, it's often with endearments, just as this couple did. It makes all the difference in the world to know it's the situation that has him riled, not you.

  • 8:50 pm
  • Comments Off